Blindsided By Divorce: What To Do Next

You can’t believe what you’re hearing. This must be a dream or a nightmare. Someone is telling you that your marriage is over.  You tell yourself this is not true, this cannot be happening to you! As a divorce mediator, I often receive frantic calls from people in your position.

Whether your marriage has been empty, loveless, or filled with constant fighting, the news of divorce can be tough to process. The good news is that there are steps you can take to help yourself through this challenging time. In this article, we’ll explore some ways to cope and move forward.

Understand Your Emotions

First, it’s essential to understand that you are not alone. Many couples go through periods of emptiness, lack of sex, or communication breakdowns, and sometimes, despite your best efforts, a divorce is the outcome. It’s not a reflection of your worth as a person, and it’s not something that you have to go through alone.

One of the most common responses to news like this is denial. You may not be ready to accept that your marriage is over, and that’s okay. However, it’s essential to begin to come to terms with the possibility that your marriage may be ending. Denial can be a protective mechanism, but it can also prolong your pain and make it harder to move forward.

Another common response is fear. You may be scared of being alone, of financial instability, or of the unknown future that awaits you. While fear is understandable, it’s essential not to let it paralyze you. With the right support and guidance, you can navigate this challenging time and come out stronger on the other side.

4 Steps to Take

So what steps can you take to help yourself through this time? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Gather Information: The more you know about your options, the more empowered you will feel. Take the time to learn about mediation, litigation, and other ways to resolve your divorce.
2. Lean on Your Support Group: This is a challenging time, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a professional counselor who can offer emotional support and help you navigate your emotions.
3. Be Kind to Yourself: Divorce is never easy, and it’s okay to feel a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, and confusion. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally.
4. Talk to an Expert: There is a lot of misinformation out there, and well-meaning friends and family can often give you advice that isn’t helpful. Schedule an appointment with a skilled and experienced divorce mediator who can guide you through the process. I offer free consultations to people who have been recently blindsided by news of a divorce.

You’re Not Alone

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. By taking the right steps and seeking support, you can emerge from this experience stronger and more resilient than ever before. Divorce is never easy, but with the right tools and mindset, you can navigate this challenging time and move forward with hope and confidence.