The Power of Gratitude

When Life Feels Heavy, Gratitude Can Feel Impossible.

You wake up and the weight of everything hits you before your feet even hit the floor. The silence in the house feels louder than it should. Maybe you’re facing the heartbreak of divorce, trying to co-parent through tension, or just struggling to find peace in the chaos of transition. People keep telling you to “just be grateful,” but that advice feels hollow when your world is unraveling.

And yet—what if gratitude really could be a lifeline, even now? What if it could shift your perspective, restore a sense of peace, and help you find strength in small, everyday moments?

Let’s talk about what’s really going on—and how cultivating gratitude could change everything.

Why Gratitude Feels So Hard (But Matters More Than Ever)

Gratitude doesn’t come naturally when life feels broken. Here’s why:

• Life feels unstable. When you’re going through something as emotionally complex as divorce or family conflict, even small tasks feel overwhelming. You’re busy managing logistics, juggling schedules, and navigating conversations that are anything but easy.

• You feel emotionally depleted. The stress and sadness leave little room for appreciation. You may feel disconnected from joy or wonder if you’ll ever feel whole again.

• It feels unfair to have to work this hard for peace. You didn’t ask for life to look like this. It’s frustrating when it seems like others get peace and joy effortlessly, while you’re struggling just to breathe.

But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to stay this way. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the pain—it’s about making room for something good to coexist with it.

How to Find Gratitude—Even When Life Feels Messy

I’m Steven Unruh, a divorce mediator and psychologist with more than 30 years of experience helping people navigate major life transitions. I’ve seen how powerful a simple shift toward gratitude can be—not just for individuals, but for families rebuilding after conflict.

I care deeply about helping you rediscover your sense of hope, joy, and purpose—even during one of the most difficult seasons of your life. Gratitude is one of the most accessible and transformative tools we have, and I want to walk you through how to tap into its power.

1. Start With the Small Stuff

Gratitude doesn’t begin with grand gestures—it begins with noticing.

• The warmth of your morning coffee.
• A kind word from your child.
• The quiet moment before the day begins.

Research from the University of California, Davis shows that people who keep a daily gratitude journal report 25% higher happiness levels than those who don’t. You don’t need a perfect life to be grateful—just a willingness to see what’s already good.

Try this: Write down three small things you’re grateful for each day. Keep it simple. Consistency matters more than perfection.

2. Reframe Challenges As Growth Opportunities

Gratitude isn’t about denying your struggles—it’s about recognizing how they’re shaping you.

Studies from Harvard Medical School show that gratitude is strongly associated with greater emotional resilience, even during periods of adversity. That doesn’t mean you’re glad something hard happened—it means you’re choosing to find meaning in it.

When you reframe your divorce or life challenge as an opportunity to grow stronger, wiser, and more intentional, you take back your power.

3. Practice Mindful Appreciation With Others

Gratitude multiplies when it’s shared.

• Send a quick thank-you message.
• Tell your children what you admire about them.
• Acknowledge the efforts of someone helping you through this time.

Expressing gratitude to others not only boosts your own happiness—it strengthens your relationships.

4. Protect Your Perspective With Boundaries

To make room for gratitude, you also need to clear the noise.

That might mean limiting conversations that drain you, setting boundaries with toxic communication, or giving yourself permission to say no. Protecting your mental and emotional space makes it easier to recognize and appreciate the good.

This is also where divorce mediation becomes such a powerful tool. Instead of engaging in combative legal battles, mediation creates space for healthy communication, mutual respect, and cooperative decision-making—all of which make it easier to focus on what matters most.

5. Anchor Your Days With a Gratitude Ritual

Structure helps gratitude stick. Consider integrating a simple ritual into your day:

• A gratitude jar on the kitchen counter.
• A moment of reflection before bed.
• A shared gratitude circle with your kids or loved ones.

Creating structure around gratitude makes it a habit—not just a fleeting feeling.

But What If I’m Just Too Overwhelmed?

It’s understandable if you feel stuck. You might think gratitude sounds like a luxury when you’re just trying to survive. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to feel grateful to start practicing gratitude. It’s the practice itself that changes how you feel over time.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to start—because small shifts lead to profound change.

Ready for a Fresh Start? If you’re ready to create more peace, clarity, and hope in your life—even during divorce—I’d love to help.

As a divorce mediator and psychologist, I’ve worked with hundreds of families to reduce conflict, create healthy transitions, and build better futures. Gratitude is one part of that journey—but the structure and support of divorce mediation can make all the difference in turning intention into action.

You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s work together to build something better.

Schedule a consultation today and take the first step toward a life rooted in peace, clarity, and—yes—even gratitude.