Thanksgiving is meant to be a time of gratitude, connection, and shared memories. But for those recently divorced, the holiday can feel like an emotional minefield. You might wonder: How do I embrace thankfulness when my life feels broken? The thought of celebrating amidst the changes may feel overwhelming, leaving you unsure of how to navigate this new reality.

The Challenges of Thanksgiving After Divorce

Thanksgiving can present unique hurdles for those navigating life after divorce. Let’s unpack the difficulties:

Thanksgiving is often built around cherished family traditions—shared meals, warm gatherings, and a sense of connection. Divorce disrupts these rituals, forcing you to navigate questions like: Where do you fit now? Who gets the kids this year? How do you explain the changes to family and friends?

Beyond the logistical challenges, the emotional toll can be heavy. Loneliness, guilt, and even frustration might creep in as you try to create a holiday that feels meaningful. You might long for the familiarity of past Thanksgivings or worry about being judged by others.

And then there’s the bigger picture: It feels unfair to have your life so upended while the world seems to go on as usual. Thanksgiving is meant to be about gratitude, but how do you embrace thankfulness when your life feels anything but stable?

But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to stay this way. There is a way to find peace and joy this holiday season, even in the midst of change.

A New Way to Approach Thanksgiving

As a divorce mediator with over 30 years of experience, I’ve worked with countless individuals navigating life after divorce. I’m Steven Unruh, and I want to help you approach Thanksgiving with a renewed sense of purpose and peace. You don’t have to face this challenge alone. Let’s explore strategies to make this holiday meaningful and manageable.

1. Reimagine Your Traditions

One of the most powerful ways to reclaim Thanksgiving is to create new traditions. Instead of focusing on what’s missing, embrace the opportunity to start fresh.

• Plan a casual Friendsgiving with close friends or other divorcees.
• Volunteer at a local charity—helping others can bring unexpected joy.
• Start a gratitude jar with your kids, writing down small things you’re thankful for every day leading up to Thanksgiving.

These new traditions don’t erase the past but give you something positive to look forward to.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Divorce often brings logistical complications, especially when kids are involved. Avoid the temptation to make the holiday “perfect” and instead focus on what’s doable.

• Work with your ex to create a co-parenting plan for the holiday.
• Be clear with family about what you can (and can’t) commit to this year.
• Allow yourself the grace to feel a mix of emotions—it’s okay to grieve while also finding moments of gratitude.

Realistic expectations reduce unnecessary stress and help you focus on what truly matters.

3. Focus on the Present

Gratitude is most powerful when it’s rooted in the present moment. Rather than dwelling on what you’ve lost, try to find small joys in the here and now.

• Enjoy a quiet morning with coffee and a good book.
• Take a walk and reflect on what you’re thankful for this year.
• Celebrate the wins—no matter how small—like successfully co-parenting through another holiday.

Being present can help shift your mindset and bring peace to your holiday.

4. Lean on Your Support Network

Holidays are not the time to go it alone. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

• Reach out to friends or family who understand what you’re going through.
• Join a support group for divorced individuals.
• Don’t be afraid to seek professional guidance, like mediation or counseling, if unresolved issues are adding to your stress.

Your support network can provide encouragement and remind you that you’re not alone.

5. Consider Divorce Mediation for Long-Term Peace

If holiday disputes with your ex are causing tension, divorce mediation can help. Mediation isn’t just about resolving immediate conflicts; it’s about creating a plan that works for both parties in the long run.

As a mediator, I’ve seen how a well-structured agreement can prevent holiday stress. Mediation helps create solutions that prioritize your family’s needs, ensuring smoother transitions for years to come.

A Thanksgiving of Peace and Gratitude

You might be thinking, “It’s too late to make this Thanksgiving better.” But change starts with small steps. Whether it’s creating a new tradition or simply reaching out to a friend, these actions can shift your perspective. Remember, healing takes time—and every effort you make is a step toward a more peaceful future.

Thanksgiving after divorce may never look the same as before—but it can still be meaningful. By reimagining your traditions, focusing on what you can control, and seeking the right support, you can create a holiday season that reflects your resilience and growth.

If you’re ready to take that first step toward peace, I’m here to help. As an experienced divorce mediator, I can guide you through the challenges of co-parenting, communication, and rebuilding your life post-divorce.

Let’s make this Thanksgiving the beginning of something new. Schedule a consultation today, and let’s create a path forward—together.