When Trust is Broken But Parenting Must Continue

You never imagined this would be your reality — trying to co-parent with someone who betrayed you. Maybe it was infidelity, manipulation, or years of dishonesty. Whatever happened, the trust is gone.

And yet, because you share children, you’re forced to keep interacting. Texts about pickups. Phone calls about schedules. Decisions about school, bedtime, and discipline. You’re trying to keep things stable for your kids while managing an emotional roller coaster behind the scenes.

It’s exhausting. But you’re not alone. And there is a way forward.

The Real Problem: Co-Parenting Without Trust

Co-parenting depends on communication, compromise, and consistency — three things that feel nearly impossible when the other parent has broken your trust. Missed pickups, snide comments, or decisions made behind your back can feel like emotional landmines waiting to go off.

You’re always bracing for the next issue. Every exchange feels like a power struggle. You want to protect your kids, but you’re drained, frustrated, and unsure of how to move forward. You second-guess your choices. You wonder what your children are picking up on. And you feel caught between shielding them and not speaking poorly about their other parent.

It shouldn’t be this difficult. You tried to do the right thing — so why are you still stuck in the tension? Why is someone who broke your trust still part of your daily life, still able to affect your children’s world? It feels unfair. Because it is.

But it doesn’t have to stay this way. Even when trust is broken, there’s a path to more peace.

There’s a Different Way

I’m Steven Unruh, a divorce mediator with more than 30 years of experience. I’ve helped hundreds of people in high-conflict divorces find clarity, reduce tension, and rebuild a working relationship — not for the sake of the past, but for the sake of their kids and their own peace of mind.

If you’re trying to co-parent with someone you no longer trust, here are five simple but powerful steps you can take.

1. Focus on the Kids — Not the Conflict

When emotions are high, it’s easy to shift the focus toward what’s gone wrong. But successful co-parenting begins with one question: What’s best for the children?

Every decision — from communication to holiday schedules — should be filtered through that lens. Keeping the focus on your children helps reduce unnecessary arguments and gives both parents a common goal, even if trust is gone.

2. Create Clear Boundaries

Boundaries protect you — not just emotionally, but practically.

• Limit communication to what’s necessary.

• Use a shared calendar or parenting app if it reduces confusion.

• Stick to agreements without debating every detail.

You don’t have to be close friends. You just need a working system that limits friction.

3. Put Agreements in Writing

When you don’t trust the other person, clarity is your best tool.

Keep parenting plans, schedules, and decisions in writing — even if it’s just through email. This reduces confusion, minimizes “he said, she said,” and gives you something to fall back on when things get murky.

Consistency builds structure. And structure builds peace.

4. Don’t Try to Win — Try to Stabilize

Trying to “win” co-parenting battles usually leads to losing the bigger picture: your kids’ emotional health and your own sanity.

You don’t have to correct every false story, respond to every jab, or prove your point. Not everything needs to be a fight. Sometimes, walking away or letting the small things go gives you more power than engaging ever will.

5. Get Help from a Neutral Guide

When trust is broken, it’s incredibly hard to find common ground without someone helping guide the process.

That’s where I come in. As a divorce mediator, I help parents stop rehashing the past and start working on what matters now. I can help you build a practical, respectful co-parenting plan — even if the other parent is difficult, defensive, or disengaged.

You don’t have to do this alone.

What If They Refuse to Cooperate?

You might be thinking:

• “This will never work — they don’t listen.”

• “They manipulate everything.”

• “They only care about control.”

And honestly? You might be right. But here’s what I’ve learned: even if the other parent won’t change, you still have power.

You can change your approach. You can change the structure. You can change how much access they have to your energy. And often, when one parent makes steady, healthy changes, the dynamic shifts — even if just a little.

You Deserve Peace — and So Do Your Kids

Co-parenting with someone you don’t trust is painful. But it doesn’t have to stay chaotic. You can create more structure. You can reduce the tension. You can protect your kids — and your own peace of mind.

If you’re ready to move from frustration to clarity, I can help.

Schedule a free consultation with me today.
Let’s work together to build a plan that works — even when trust has been broken.

Your kids deserve stability.
You deserve peace.
Let’s take the first step together.