“We Never Thought It Would Be Us…”

You remember the early days. The excitement. The late-night talks, the small gestures of love, and the feeling that nothing could ever come between you. But now? Things have changed.

You’ve been living in a house full of tension, and the moments you once shared have become fewer and farther between. Arguments seem to come out of nowhere, and silence is often more comfortable than conversation. It feels like you’re no longer on the same team.

Deep down, you’ve started to ask: Is my marriage headed for divorce?

According to research, nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you’re starting to notice changes in your relationship, it could be a sign that things need attention. The good news? Recognizing the signs early can give you a chance to turn things around—before you make decisions that are harder to undo.

The Struggles You’re Facing Aren’t Just About the Fights

When marriages begin to struggle, it often starts with small cracks in the foundation—an unresolved argument, a sense of growing emotional distance, or a lack of meaningful conversation. Over time, these issues build up, leading to feelings of disconnection. Conversations may shift from shared dreams and frustrations to mundane logistical topics like kids, bills, and schedules. This emotional disconnect is often the first sign that things aren’t right. Without emotional intimacy, it’s hard to rebuild what was once a strong foundation.

Constant arguing can also take its toll, making you feel stuck in an endless cycle of conflict, or worse, the silence between you grows so loud that it feels like you’re merely roommates. You no longer share the same closeness or understanding, and it can feel like your relationship is on autopilot—going through the motions without the spark that once brought you together. This emotional distance is just as dangerous as the arguments, as it can breed resentment and apathy.

Then, there’s the deeper, more unfair feeling—the nagging sense that all your efforts, time, and love have been betrayed by the very relationship you poured yourself into. You might wonder how things went so wrong or feel guilty for not doing enough to fix things. But here’s the truth: It doesn’t have to stay this way. Recognizing these signs early gives you the power to take control, rebuild, or move forward in a way that honors both you and your spouse, allowing you to regain clarity and peace.

Understanding the Path Ahead

Hi, I’m Steven Unruh, and I’ve spent over 30 years helping couples navigate the difficult waters of divorce and relationship struggles. I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals and couples, helping them find ways to heal and move forward, whether through mediation or honest conversation.

I understand how deeply painful and confusing it can be when you start noticing the cracks in your marriage. But I also know that it’s possible to heal, to understand one another better, and—if you choose—to part ways amicably.

Here are some signs that your marriage might be headed toward divorce and what you can do about it. The key to moving forward is recognizing these signs early and taking proactive steps to either rebuild or navigate the separation process with respect.

1. Lack of Communication or Emotional Intimacy

When communication fades, so does emotional intimacy. The best marriages are built on regular, open communication, where both partners feel heard and understood. If you’re avoiding tough conversations, or if your conversations have become hostile or dismissive, it may be time to step back and ask yourselves, Why has this happened?

This is one of the most critical signs that a marriage is struggling. If you’ve lost the ability to share your feelings or fears with each other, it’s hard to continue building a future together.

2. Constant Conflict or Avoidance

Fighting is normal in any relationship, but when it feels like every conversation ends in conflict or there’s so much unresolved tension that you start avoiding each other, that’s a red flag. You might feel like you’re just going through the motions, but the lack of resolution only makes things worse.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of endless arguments—or worse, just going quiet and avoiding the issue—you need to ask yourselves whether these fights are solvable, or if they’ve become a symptom of deeper issues.

3. Loss of Respect or Trust

When respect or trust begins to erode in a relationship, the foundation starts to crack. Maybe your spouse has done something that caused you to question their trustworthiness, or perhaps you’ve grown bitter or dismissive of each other’s needs.

Without trust and respect, it’s difficult for a marriage to recover. However, even if the trust is broken, divorce mediation offers a way to start healing these wounds, with the help of a neutral third party, without the added stress of a courtroom battle.

4. No Shared Vision for the Future

Have you started drifting apart in terms of future goals? Perhaps one partner wants to settle down, while the other dreams of a life of adventure. Or maybe your goals are no longer aligned, and you’re no longer excited about your future together. Without a shared vision, your marriage can feel like a house without a foundation.

5. You’ve Stopped Trying

If you’ve stopped putting effort into the relationship, it’s a major indicator that things aren’t going well. Relationships take work, and when both people stop trying to nurture the bond, the connection starts to wither. Small gestures, date nights, and thoughtful conversations are the glue that holds a marriage together.

A Clear Path Forward: Let’s Take the Next Step Together

I know it can be incredibly hard to accept that your marriage might be headed for divorce. You might feel like you’re betraying your partner or giving up too soon. But here’s the truth: avoiding the signs doesn’t make the problem go away. Facing it early gives you the chance to take action—whether it’s through therapy, better communication, or even divorce mediation.

If you’re noticing any of these signs in your marriage, it’s time to take a hard look at what’s really going on. Whether you choose to work on your marriage or move forward with a separation, divorce mediation can help. As a mediator with over 30 years of experience, I can help guide you and your spouse through this difficult time, ensuring that you both get the clarity, respect, and understanding you deserve.

If you’re ready to explore the options available to you, I’d love to help. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward a healthier, more peaceful future.